and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize