would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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