I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize