It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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