they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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