So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
