so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
