Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
