dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I believe in your delicious
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
