trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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