I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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