Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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