This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
