Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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