the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
