Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i will never coherently bang her
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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