I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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