I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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