Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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