I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize