i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
