i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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