I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
