So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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