And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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