i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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