Tell her she can't have a vagina
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
