i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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