I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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