There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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