wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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