I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
