Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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