With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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