I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
3 2 1 whiskey
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
