Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
