did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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