so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
