kristin has been a bad kristin
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize
