I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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