For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
