he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We are all done wearing pants today
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
