I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
