I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize