dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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