When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
