Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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