i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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