I must be too annoying 4 u.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
