So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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