He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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