She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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