she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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