Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
