when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
