I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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