I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
